By JKill09
_What have I gotten myself into this time? I'm high on the trapeze, just barely hanging on. Looking down, I see a safety net. It's torn in a few places because I found myself crashing towards it a few times in the past. Forget that though, let's talk about now. Now, you're telling me to let go. Now, I'm wondering if I should say yes or no. There's a force between us girl, but it has nothing on gravity. I'll plummet hard, hoping that you grab me. I'm loosening my grip. On the bar. On the fear. Anything I have to do, I will. So I can keep you near. If this doesn't work out my heart'll be in two. But this is what I have to do. The ground keeps getting closer 'cause girl I've fallen for you. Hard.
And there's no going back now (but it's not like I want to).
By JKill09
_It's captivating. I glance back at old pictures of myself and wonder what was going on in my head. So much has changed and I hadn't even realized. Calendar days get crossed off, calendar pages torn off. They fall to the ground so quickly into a pile. It's building up, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm throwing away a page at a time while the others hit me in the head on their way down.
I have to catch up.
Sometimes I wish time would stop (let's paralyze the clocks from the wrists down). I just need some time to think (about things besides you).
Help me.
It's already 2009 and I'm still wondering how 2008 ended. I must not have been paying attention. A year flew by. A year flew, bye. And it'll never come back. I'm relying on pictures and stories to remind me of the year. It's pitiful how left behind I am. But it's time to change. Again. Me (and you) vs. Time. Stay posted. I'll tell you who wins this battle when it ends.
PS. To her (the only her): I have a request. Move out of my mind so I can catch up with time. Just try to visit. Often.
By JKill09
_Say it to my face. Please. This isn't a threat, just a suggestion. You can do whatever you want, I won't do anything to stop you. 'Cause honestly I'm terrified of you. With your hand pressed against your cheek, you strike the most intimidating pose ever. I'm shaking even thinking about it. My only question is, why do you care so much? I mean, I'm honored to be on your mind but I never thought I was that interesting. I'd love to chat with you sometime. I've always wanted to know more about myself and, lucky me, I found the one person who knows it all. Share your insights with me. Please. Or at least whisper a little louder next time so I can listen in.If you keep talking, I'll keep pretending I care.
Let's see how long we can keep this charade going.
;)
By JKill09
_Keep dreaming up, I'll keep lying down. Standing was never so hard. I bear the weight of our memories on my shoulders. My heart feels heavy but my eyes never do. And when I sleep, I only dream of you (Please tell me you feel it too). I watch episodes of us in my head wondering when the new season will begin. It won't. Not without you by my side. My pride's in my stomach, and I'm trying to get it back to where it usually resides. I look in the mirror and wonder who I'm trying to impress. I dress with the best while you mess with the rest. And I'm at home wondering why I still care. I do, but not about you. The memories are better than what really happened. That's all you are: a good memory. I'll keep dreaming up and putting you down. 'Cause there's nothing between me and you now.
By JKill09
_My heart has been shifted. No longer trapped. It's breaking free, coming out, leaving a space in my chest. It has escaped, altering all I once believed in. Who will control it? Not sure. I just know that its capabilities were never utilized, and it locked up as a result. Up to this point, I've deleted all thoughts of love tried to enter my mind, but now they're all I think about. Nothing else crosses my mind. My heart is gone, and I hope it's found soon. 'Cause I'm pretty sure I now hold the keys to my heart.
By JKill09
_I'm just hoping the guards will take vacation days come Christmas. It's been so long. I don't remember what feeling is like anymore. I'm Frosty without the tophat: a cold shell waiting to become animated. Only difference is there's no tophat to fix me. I'm frozen solid and there's no remedy. No antifreeze. No solution to my problem. I am a memory of what was. The battery died in my emotions and now I just count the days until somebody or something jumpstarts it, so I'll be human again. Am I scared? Possibly. I don't know. I have no control over anything anymore. I lost the login information to my feelings, and now I can't connect to the database. My facial expressions don't represent anything anymore. I just go through the motions so I can still feel partially alive. That's all I can do at this point. I'm still waiting on the "Password Reset" email. It'll come eventually. Until then, I just hope it doesn't get too warm out. That'd be the end of me.
By JKill09
_So our story begins when an innocent girl meets the boy of her dreams and he changes her world. This begins the relationship of Amanda and Joe, but how far would this relationship go? Well, see they loved each other but Joe was a guy, who wasn't happy with one girl but didn't know why. So he let his eyes drift away. All he wanted was to be with this girl named May. She was a reckless girl, only out for some fun. Too bad for Joe because he thought he was the one. He started staying out late, all the time. But Amanda trusted him so she didn't mind. Every night he'd come home as if nothing was wrong. Give Amanda a kiss like he wasn't stringing her along. She'd brag to all her friends, "I met this perfect man". Joe had her heart in the palms of his hands. He disregarded this, he ignored all of her feelings. 'Cause to him, May was just too damn appealing. He needed her, without her he wouldn't last. He acted as if he and Amanda had no past. He'd go out of his way, just to see May. He'd take her everywhere, and she'd make him pay. See, he thought she actually cared about "them". When in actuality, he was just ONE of her men. So Joe is in the middle between love and lust. But staying there is impossible, a decision is a must. His passion got the best of him. He put his heart on the line, would he sink or swim? He jumped in the water, away from his commitment. Amanda couldn't understand what this all meant. In her mind they loved each other for the years they were together. She swore she would be beside Joe forever. But Joe had other plans, his need for passion was ignited. He left Amanda heartbroken, it hurts me to recite it. Joe left her house, he took all his stuff. He took it mildly, Amanda took it rough. She vowed never to love again, because of its effects. Her heart couldn't take it, it was utterly wrecked. Joe wasn't feeling this pain just yet. He was on his way to confess his "love" to a girl he just met. When he arrived at May's door, he caught his breath. Not knowing what he was going to witness next. He walked into her house and looked around. He heard some strange yet familiar sounds. He found May "spending time" with a different man. He dropped the dozen of roses he had held in his hand. He ran away from the house, got in his car and just rode. His tires ate up the road and his heart felt like a heavy load. He thought about all that had happened and cried. With tears in his eyes, he found it difficult to drive. His car hit a bump, flipped, tumbled, then crashed. Slowly rolled off the bridge, into the river and splashed. He didn't attempt to escape. No attempts, no tries. Because in his mind he had already drowned in his lies. Amanda didn't go to his funeral, she stayed home that day. Two invitations in the trash, addressed to Amanda and May. Amanda resolved her conflict, she repaired her heart. In her mind, giving up because of one guy, isn't smart. May wasn't phased, Joe was sheetplay to her. She replaced him the next day with no effort (effert). Joe was forgotten, buried in the minds of all. But what was the cause of his tragic fall? We can say that Joe's life was a shame. We can say that May was entirely to blame. But no matter what we say or what we think of, the story ended with only one true victim, Love.
By JKill09
_[1]A girl like you? IMPOSSIBLE to find. You're one of a kind...
Jay said 'difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week'. It took longer than a week. 'Cause you make me feel weak everytime that we meet, I mean like every day of the week. And you speak words of brilliance when life is looking bleak. Let my pen leak...
I'll collab with Mario, he said "let me be the one to". Well, I want to be the one you, seek and then run to. We can shine like the sun do. Um, I mean 'does'*. I'm not as good as a speaker now as I was. And it's all your fault 'cause, the only letters I pay attention to are "Y" "O" and "U". My mind is construed. So, I hit Alt+Control+Delete to see what I could do. The task manager came up and all it read was you, you, you. What can I say? I can't keep those thoughts at bay. You've slain the cage around my heart, and now it's on display.
ButIwouldn'thaveitanyotherway...
[2]What's the last thing I said? Oh, that you control the thoughts in my head. You're in my mind when awake, and when I'm lying in bed. I say: One plus one is two, you plus you is DoubleYou. I take home a win everyday, I can never lose. From a vic-tim to a vic-tor because of you. Ain't got no L, 'cause when I'm with you I'm a winner. So I might as well consider myself a sinner. Can't be this glad without something going bad. This is honestly the best feeling I've ever had. You've helped all my dreams come true. But, enough about me though, let's get back to 'u'. And I don't mean the letter between 'T' 'V'. Although, you're worthy of modeling on TV. "Let's be together girl, can't you see me? I don't want to be Cingular like ATT." That line never worked, all I got was a smirk. I was never much of a romantic guy. Slightly shy, but never knew why. Then you came along and helped me defy, all the things I held inside. You looked through my eyes, and into my mind. That's why I said you're one of a kind. That's why a girl like you is IMPOSSIBLE to find.
By JKill09
Sorted NewesttoOldest.
_When displayed, do the words' meanings belong to the author or are they the community's property? People may insist meanings upon words and phrases as if they were the ones on the other side of the pen. Does the author's intentions mean anything or are they discarded? When an author wants something to be read in a certain fashion is it required that they include an explaination so there's no chance of a messed up interpretation? But on the other side, words and ideas, can one actually own them? When somebody writes them are they making their own idea or just rewording ideas that already exist (are all ideas original)? Can somebody actually own such things as ideas or words? "Copyrights" belong to the people who are insecure and don't want competition. They're the ones who bolt down ideas ("cage the bird") disallowing ideas to grow and stem from theirs. Words and ideas, is ownership possible?
_Unmuting the soul. You may think I'm just shy, but truthfully I speak from the heart more frequently than from the mouth. Don't you feel my feelings? Close your ears and open up your mind. Open up your heart. Open up your soul. At the very least open up your eyes and turn on the flashlight. You can find me in the shadow of the boy you imagine yourself with. Scratch that. You could've found me in the shadow of the boy you imagined yourself with*. Now? I'm currently searching for a place to go. Maybe I'll locate that heart that'll let me in, maybe I won't. Either way, I've dismissed all my intentions of entering yours. The only place you'll see me again is within your mind. Check the place called "Missed Opportunities". You can find me there anytime. Believe it.
_L-O-V-E. Call up Webster and tell him the bad news: These four letters connected mean nothing nowadays. Every single request ends with a simple and meaningless "I love you". Love was once unknown. It once represented a feeling that couldn't be explained. It once meant something beyond a synonym for "please". Now? The word means so little that it's pointless to even utter. Do I still believe in the feeling that the word 'love' once represented? Mildly. For that hasn't endured the test of time either. This new misrepresentation of the word love supports the quote "actions speak louder than words". Since the word 'love' means absolutely nothing, people are now forced to express this feelings with their actions. But what am I to expect within a society in which lust vetos any other feeling. One in which a walk through a park while holding hands with a "significant other" seems less appealing than a random hook-up with a stranger that you never plan to talk to again. Is that what we as a species have become? Animals that are hellbent on sexual pleasures that they overlook the other simple pleasures in life? And you're probably thinking "who the hell does this guy think he is?". Me? I'm nobody, just a guy that refuses to submit to the influence of the aforementioned 'animals'. Betonit.
_I take maps when I visit her, because I'm always lost in her eyes. Give my heart to her on request, 'cause she never tossed me aside. Have to reroute the circuits of my heart whenever we depart 'cause she's the reason it beats. It's hard to leave, call it naive but I count the days 'til we next meet. The way your hair falls on your shoulder, the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way your number's on my phone under 'recently dialed' basically makes my life worthwhile. You have a way of making me stay and keeping my mind in disarray and like lung removal baby, you take my breath away. I had to go and edit my list of heroes so I could add Cupid. Nobody ever stole my heart but somehow you did...
_Empty out the bin 'cause I'm finished with being used and carefully discarded. Just attach my heart to a dartboard, the pain wouldn't differ. Wish I could remove letters from board games, to get 'u' out of my 'Life'. I'm not that fortunate however, I made a bad impression on the first date with lady luck and now she holds a grudge. Babe, I gave you all I had and you pawned it away as if it was meaningless. You've lost your hold on me. Cut the strings and find the fairy. "Iwanttobearealboy."
_Never wore the shirt with my heart on the sleeve, but there was something about you that made me feel comfortable in it. Felt as if you'd be trustworthy. Forever untapped and locked down, my emotions were freed by a cute smile and a pleasant personality. It put me out there, and I had all confidence in you. Fast forward, I feel completely idiotic for casting my line of emotions so far from the ship. Now I'm reeling 'em back in but you bit the bait and now have a strong hold on my emotions. Now what? Let you, a malevolent girl, maintain control over my emotions, or cut the line and never let myself drift that far away? Reinvent myself. Rest assured this ship will be grounded, because the only place I know where my emotions won't be harmed is within myself.
_She'sequippedwiththefinestbeautilities.
_The war between Mind and Heart has begun. (Un)evenly matched countries. Many people move to Mind, just to utilize it in order to terrorize Heart. Heart is open to attack, its only purpose: to find peace. This is its weakness, however, and like every time before, it may wind up a defeated country. The capital city of Heart: Feeling, and oh you should see how Mind takes Feeling and destroys it on several occasions. In the past, Mind usually prevails, for all it has to fight with is empty promises and unfulfilled expectations, and its army is well trained in both areas. Heart's army thrives off of beliefs, wishes, and dreams, which are defeated time and time again, because of Mind's relentless attacks. Living in Heart has been hard, simply because I've renounced its religion. 'Cause there's only one church in Heart and it preaches about love, and I think I've lost faith...
_We inhabit Past, a town built upon regrets and mistakes. The demolition crew is always looking to bring it down but the protesters of nostalgia keep it intact. I'm willing to ride on maturity into the neighboring town, Future, but I'm looking for a co-pilot. Be the one that I'm with as I move into the Future? 'Cause girl what I see is you&me fulfilling dreams. I'm laughing at NASA because I haven't been educated in science, yet I've found you, a being far beyond any earthly limitation; completely out of this world. I'll give you my heart, I come in peace(s).
_I scan the surrounding area. Eyes dart ever constantly in every direction. No sign of you in my general area, let alone "with" me. But then I close my eyes and rest assured you're the only one I see. Comb a sea of people and all I'd see is you, but I'd just flow with the other waves of people to you. Noticely unnoticed. Went to the doctor to make sure my legs were functioning, because I can't seem to get over you. Sometimes I just wish I could etch-a-sketch my mind, shake and clear it of all previous images. Instead I have a tattoo parlor in my head, best selling piece of art: you...
_She's skilled in her art. My mind, merely a canvas on which to create imagery. Her brush strokes consist of memories and feelings which she utilizes to paint scenes that I see at night. Shuffle through my mind and remember her. Her voice, a constant harmony echoed in my head. Motion pictures play in my head starring her. Looked through my thoughts and tried to compile a "best of" soundtrack, but was unable to because every moment was lived like life was going out of style. I'm writing nonsensical sentences because my mind is cluttered with thoughts of her and there's no way to sort it out into perfect formed English. MY(Y)M(O)I(U)ND. Would it be forward of me to say that you should lend me the keys to your heart?
_Thoughts flash throughout my head constantly. They keep me up. I can't sleep because my heart is heavier than my eyes.
_So uh... when am I getting my breath back?
_I recite the alphabet backwards just to get to U faster.
_You've made your mark upon my mind permanently. Burst into my life without knocking and just as sudden, rendered my continuation of dreaming pointless.
_She is an overbearing force. I dare you to try and make a justified decision while in her presence. Her sole reason for existence is to jumble your thoughts and, occasionally, turn you into a babbling idiot. She may distract you, and in time may consume your entire life because of your obsession with her. She's not easily overlooked, as she is what all people seek in their life at one time or another. Seeking doesn't accomplish anything however, because only she determines when she'll make an appearance in your life be it ideal or inopportune. All in all, her intentions may be well but we, as humans, are no match for the uncontrollable power she holds over us. Her actions can be catastrophic or euphoric. So prepare to have a best friend or a worst enemy by the name of Love.
_Hope grows ever more inconspicuous, concealed by the darkness of lying and deceit present in the attitudes of humanity. You, however, shine a beacon of fulfillment through the shrouds that would otherwise keep any existence of Hope impossible. You breathe life upon my expectations, I mean, you keep my Hope alive.
_I'm perplexed at how no matter what happens over the course of any given day, immense or miniscule, I can never seem to divert my attention away from thoughts about you.
_I could go on to utter my sweet nothings -or- I could decide not to conceal myself behind a clever line that I conceived within my mind. Start it off with an intro and develop a conversation. Try to explore the depths of her brain like: "What's your name? What're your interests? What ya like to do?" Do what I can, to become friends, and maybe she'll like me too...